Wednesday, October 28, 2009

Creepy Crawlies

Since we are so close to Halloween (and because I read this beetle story by Justine over at Almost There) I decided that it is only appropriate to mention somethings that give us the creepy crawlies!! I am an animal fan! I like lots of different types of (most) animals and there isn't much that grosses me out (except snakes slithering and the next thing I am about to tell you about). I even have a tattoo of a frog (my favorite) on my foot. Now, living in the heat in the South, we have LOTS of bugs and well, critters. We have lizards. Now, they are just your regular old salamanders (except to me, they might as well be Dragons that can kill). They can change colors too (sometimes). Well, whenever I see one of these creatures, my natural reaction is usually to shriek, yell, or squeal and do a little dance and run as far away from them as I can get as fast as I can.

So here are my two most memorable and funniest experience with these lizards:
(Be aware that the rest of this is long, but entertaining.)

1. When I first moved into my apartment in a new town I didn't know anyone! I mean, I met a couple of my neighbors, but mostly they were all girls. Well I was showering and getting ready for work and I caught a glimpse of something moving out of the corner of my eye. I was in the middle of a big shampoo lather so I decided to rinse my hair and then see what it was. Well, when I opened my eyes, I see a lizard squirming up the shower wall. I mean the thing was as big as my arm (ok, maybe just as big as my finger, but still, MY ARM)! So I squealed and hurried and got out of the shower and shut the curtain thinking I could make it go away and it wouldn't get out of the bathtub. Then, It kept squirming and I was about to die of a heart attack. I couldn't do that because I didn't want someone to find me a few days later, dead on the bathroom floor, in a towel, with half-way rinsed hair surrounded by lizards without my pearls on! Come on! So I did what every girl would do and I washed it with water into the tub (where I knew it was slick and it couldn't come out and get me)while squealing and doing the dance. I got ready for work satisfied that it wasn't going anywhere. When I got ready for work, I decided that I would give it some water (scalding hot might I add thinking maybe it would die of a heat stroke and not roam my apartment while I was gone and crawl on my pillow). I went to work and quickly forgot about the monster intruding my apartment. But as soon as I got home, I remembered the creepy thing that I had left in my bathtub that morning. As soon as I got home, I checked, and sure enough he was still there swimming in my bathtub. Well, I had to get him out! I couldn't go unshowered! So I called a guy friend of mine (who was halfway across the country) and told him the story in a panic figuring he would be nice and come get it for me or something, or at least work some magic and make it go away. Instead, I hear him laughing as hard as he can. He then asks me to repeat the story. I did, almost screeching/yelling at this point only to hear more people laughing! He had put me on speaker phone so his friends could hear my story! He said just scoop it with a cup since it was in water and throw it outside. well, this was a good plan, except I wasn't going to get close to it. So, since he was no help, I decided to go see if any of my neighbors were home and their husbands could help me out. I finally found a neighbor and she said her husband was on his way home. He didn't even get out of his car before she had him in my apartment getting the stupid lizard out of the bathtub! He took it outside and released it. Crisis averted. I didn't have to have my obituary say anything about me and lizards and no pearls. I thanked him for saving my life by baking them some cookies. I then went and cleaned my shower with Clorox to clean away the lizard cooties.

2. About a year after the first incident, I had a heightened awareness for lizards. I always looked on doors, walls and the ground for them. They seemed to be the worst at night, they would gather near lights. I think really they just liked to see how fast I could move from point A to point B while they laughed at me. Well, one night I was going out the door and was talking and forgot to check for attackers. As soon as I opened the door, ONE JUMPED ON ME!! I SCREAMED. It slithered down my body. I was doing a crazy dance trying to get it off. I even jumped ON TOP OF THE DRYER to get away from it (duh, these suckers can climb). Anyway, he got off of me and was injured from the impact of my shoe meeting his body a gazillion times during my "Lizards give me the creeps and I have to move as fast as I can" dance.I proceeded to injure a lizard, stab one of my friends with a key, elevate my heart rate times ten, and be laughed at by everyone who saw the fiasco. I was mortified even more after that experience.

Needless to say, LIZARDS GIVE ME THE CREEPS (and induce heart attack symptoms, cause bodily harm, make me move as fast as I can, and have caused me to walk on high alert during warm months). What are some of your Creepy Crawlie stories or things that just give you the creeps??

Happy Thursday! That is Friday eve for those of us who like that day the most! Have a great rest of the week!

P.S. - I was going to post a picture of a lizard on this post, but I can't bring myself to do it. So, just imagine one. As big as your arm.


  1. First time at your blog and wanted to say hi! It is just lovely! Oh my goodness- your story about lizards is too funny! I would have freaked out if it was in the shower too! I'm totally with you- those little guys give me the creeps.

    Have a great day XOXO

  2. OMG, we just had a lizard invade our house too. But not one of the small could be kinda cute ones, but the ginormous bite your head off kind. GROSS!!!

  3. Ewww!!! I would have freaked out if I would have seen it while in the shower. I am not a fan of them either!