Thursday, October 22, 2009


Do you ever wonder what people think of you? Why people look at you and automatically make assumptions about you. Not that anyone has of me lately, but then again, I am sure someone does daily. I think it is funny when people think they know you just by looking at you and you could be far, far from that. Sometimes, I too think people-watching is fun. Trying to write someone's story by looking at them and reading what you think is written on their face. Or in their step. Or in the way they carry themselves. Or even what you hear them say. But in reality, this isn't fair. This could be a stretch from the truth and you could be missing out on something truly remarkable. I often wonder what people would think of me by looking at me. Let's see, I wear pearls daily (what can I say, I am a true Southern Belle). I must be sweet and charming or some may think snotty. When in fact I can be all of those things, but I can also be rude, sassy, sarcastic, and blunt. I bet you wouldn't think that? I bet you didn't think I was judgmental either. I am. But I also find the good in everyone I meet. I am quick to give an opinion and I am always up for a good debate. I like to play devil's advocate. But I will also listen all day and all night without saying a word. Bet you didn't see that one coming. I smile all the time. I wonder what that makes you think. Probably that she is sweet, or some may say, she has no clue. When most of the time, I smile because I am thinking of something, scheming if you will. Sometimes it is because I am just not interested. Sometimes, it is because I really do care, or because it looks like you need a smile. I am sweet too, sometimes. I bet you wouldn't think that I love kids, however some kids REALLY get on my nerves. I have a great deal of patience but there are some things that cause me to be very impatient. I am definitely flawed. But then again, who isn't? We just have to learn to overlook imperfections to truly appreciate that which is before us. I read a poem today and it really made me think of how trying to write someone's story that I haven't yet tried to read, may be making me miss out. I have always had this idea of just exactly what I was looking for and I thought I knew just exactly what it looked like and where to find it. When in fact, I feel like I was really walking around with my eyes closed, even making assumptions. When I let my guard down, open my eyes, and see things for how they really are, not how I think they are, or how I assume they are, it is a great thing. And may bring great things or people into my life that I may have otherwise missed. Have you ever thought of what you were missing? People tell you all the time to take things for what they are, realize what makes you happy. And don't assume things that you don't already know. This poem made me rather aware of the reality of opening my eyes and thinking about what/who I really wanted in my life. And what great things I could be missing. My past is already written, my present is a work in progress, and there is only one person who knows the path of my future. I don't wanna walk down it with my eyes closed, I wanna see what is gonna happen, what has already been planned for me.....and I certainly don't wanna miss a thing because of my own assumptions.

John Ashbery - At North Farm

Somewhere someone is traveling furiously toward you,
At incredible speed, traveling day and night,
Through blizzards and desert heat, across torrents,
through narrow passes.
But will he know where to find you,
Recognize you when he sees you,
Give you the thing he has for you?

Hardly anything grows here,
Yet the granaries are bursting with meal,
The sacks of meal piled to the rafters.
The streams run with sweetness, fattening fish;
Birds darken the sky. Is it enough
That the dish of milk is set out at night,
That we think of him sometimes,
Sometimes and always, with mixed feelings?

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